39 year old female, comes to the hospital. Has been admitted to several other hospitals for pneumonia, fever and cold. She felt that there has to be something more, because she still feels sick even after all the antibiotics. So she decides to come to our hospital, higher level of care. After doing our exams, and being aggressive with the diagnostics. We found what was possibly causing her symptoms, mass found in between the heart and lung, which could be life threatening.
Now let me tell you a little bit about her. She is a mommy of 3 beautiful children. The youngest who is 2 years old. She has been on and off her so called "boyfriend" over the last 12 years. They anticipated getting married 3 times before but something always comes up, and this is always on his part, which he ends up having to post pone it. It came to the point that he was making excuses not to get marry with her (what she thinks). That she loves him, she does, but, that if he truly loves her, well she and myself even question that. I'm her RN, and after taking care of her and witness the interactions and her sharing her stories and secrets about her relationship I myself sometimes dont know what to say. I sit and listen, sharing my empathy. I mean we all been there, falling stupidly in love. When all the signs are there that you should leave and move on, but you cant, more so your heart can't. And no matter how much you try, you always fall back in the same place, getting hurt.
She knows that "he" doesnt really love her the way "she" loves him. But shes says, I have three of his children, I'm 39 years old, I'm sick, and I have cancer, I'm going to lose my hair, I might die, and well his a good looking guy. Well, that night when she was in the hospital, I was taking care of her. This was the first night she found out that she had that mass, a biopsy was done, and it was found that the mass cannot be surgically removed. The next morning the Medical doctor was going to come by between 7am to 8 am. Not sure what exact time, but he will be here between those time to have a family meeting and discuss the treatment plan and answer any questions. Her anxiety was off the roof, she was crying, was emotional, her hands were shaking tremendously as she wipe her tears off her cheek. She asked her so called "boyfriend" if he can stay the night with her, because she was scared, she felt the world crashing in, she felt her life and the life with her kids was being shorten. I listened on the side well doing my paper work and assessment not really focusing on the conversation. But I kinda felt that her so called "Boyfriend" was trying to give her tough love, saying "were gonna get through this", but he first wanted to go home and take a shower and he will be here in the morning when the doctor comes. She begged and begged for him to stay because she felt so emotional, and alone. He refused and left angry. She was rationalizing, why would he not he stay? The kids are at her moms? I just found out that I have cancer? I myself have not even been able to take a shower? Unless he cant take it or he is having an affair? Just more stress that he was causing, that I see. He has had many affairs in the past, which is why they have been on and off so many years. And she always takes him back only because she has kids with him. But she feels that he comes back because so he wont pay child support because he makes a lot of money. But she does not care for money she just wants her family (nuclear family). But seriously that night, he needed to suck it up, in my opinion, and stay by her side. Stay quite and just be by her side, this one night, a shower was not more important, in my eyes, nothing was more important. After he left, I saw her crying, I couldnt leave her alone, so I decided to do all my paperwork after doing patient care with my other patients and do it at her bedside. Until she fell asleep.
That morning her "boyfriend" came in at 6:30ish, and was insisting to see the doctor to see whats the plan. I was like, you should go spend time with your wife, and the doctor is coming from another hospital and he will be here between 7am to 8 am for a family meeting to answer any questions that you all may have, and possible treatment options. He leaves and goes downstairs at seven fiften in the morning to go get breakfast, I was like, are you freaking kidding me. Knowingly the whole family was in the room he returns with breakfast for only himself. And top it off he walks into the room maybe ten minutes in the family meeting with the doctor. I could only imagine the disappointment in her head and her heart. I was like well, maybe he went downstairs to get the whole family muffins or something that everyone can share. Nope, only eggs and two sausages for himself. What! Is everyone just going to watch you eat, I bet other people havent ate also or are hungry. Shaking my head, not saying a word. Signs are there, careless, not affection or compassion to her needs, etc. And don't do me wrong she is 39 years old, three kids, a strong supportive family, she is beautiful from out and within. There is no excuse for her to not be happy, instead she is living a life that she wont ever know if there is or was someone out there that would love her for her. I looked at the so called boyfriend, and just put my head down showing disappointment, and walked away to give report to the next RN, as my shift just ended.
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